Inexplicable Depth

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Finding a moment when you have become fully present is a precious thing. Finding something that keeps bringing you back to these present experiences is golden. We've all had the experience of dropping into a zone where the internal commentary stops and focus becomes vivid. This happens when walking, exercising, reading, making or listening to music, practicing art, and creating haiku.

Haiku is a structured Japanese form of writing what looks like poems. These traditionally are three lines and follow a 5-7-5 syllable format.

> Haiku seizes the moment of inexplicable depth. They seek an expression out of time, beyond before and after. They look for the place where life deepens and suddenly the universe is present in the lighting of one candle. [^1]

Lighting one candle
With another candle;
An evening of spring.

Buson

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Here I'll show how I developed a haiku. It starts with 2 subjects, breath and stars, and has the theme of movement. The stars are a distraction from the main topic, which is the movement of breath. I try to use "Look!" as a sleight of hand to startle the reader into a sudden shift in focus. The theme feels overstated, and a bit forced. The coming/going and here/there are redundant here. I could have used up/down, in/out, before/after. The breath and the stars got dropped, and the theme morphs into a presentation of randomness.

It ends unified with one subject, the butterfly. Everything in the haiku is about the butterfly and supports the presentation of randomness. It creates a picture of the butterfly without having to have a photograph.

Coming and going

v.1

Coming and going,
breath moves here and there.
LOOK! A shooting star.

v.2

This way and that way,
spring breezes blow here and there.
LOOK! A shooting star.

v.3

Butterfly
Flutters this way and that way.
without a sound.

v.4

Butterfly fluttering
here and there in the spring breeze,
without a sound.

v.5

Butterfly fluttering
in still air, here and there
without a sound.

v.6

Butterfly fluttering;
a drunkard weaving here and there
without a sound.

References

[^1]: Reginald Horace Blyth (1952): Haiku, Tōkyō: Hokuseido, p.116

Other stuff I've written on this topic

This post is meant to help us renew our commitment to caring for the world and remind our future selves to be fractionally better than before. This post points to where I want to work on my mental fitness and 'adulting.'. It is a reminder to operate in the world with love and compassion and includes tips put together in moments of clarity to help when caught up in the world's uncontrollable chaos. Please, continue the conversation anytime: will@kestrelcreek.com.