I’m almost continuously tweaking my workflow trying to get back to that feeling of flow I remember. Lately I’ve been wondering why. Even as I’m retired and the social cues are to chill out and relax, I still plan and track my day in minutia. I think I can remember what must have been the dopamine rush associated with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s “Flow” when things went according to plan. I think I can purposefully steer myself toward this by meticulous planning and tracking. But its not working that way.

Am I addicted to this feeling of flow? Most assuredly.

Is this ego driven? Holding on to the past.

Is my memory my wrong? Of course memory is fallible and unreliable.

Is reducing my resistance the answer? Works in plumbing, flow and resistance inversely related.

Should I give up? No.

Hope you have an awesome day!

This journal is meant as a reminder to encourage my future self. Where I work on my mental fitness and ‘adulting’. A reminder to him to operate in the world with love and compassion and some tips put together in a moment of clarity to help him when he is less clear and caught up in stuff the he can’t control. Continue the conversation anytime: will@kestrelcreek.com.