Habit Change

Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind; for the soul is dyed by the thoughts. Dye it then with a continuous series of such thoughts as these: for instance, that where a man can live, there he can also live well.
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations V.16

I’ve been working on habit change for the last year or so. I’ve had some success and some failures. It has been a learning process. Here are a few of the things I learned. 

 

After the initial rush of success, habit change doesn’t make me a better person. I’m still the same person only doing different things. 

 

One change lead to another. Some habits are what are called “keystone habits”. Habits like getting enough sleep that have effects that spill over into other area of life. 

 

After a couple of success, the desire to always be in the habit change mode becomes stronger. This I found is a side effect of the ‘do as little as possible’ technique. i.e., only do 1 pushup a day. With such an easy goal it is so easy to develop the habit and it naturally grows.

 

Habits done every day or every other day are easier to establish than weekly habits. An todo list manager on my phone helps tremendously.

 

Some habits I’ve developed have added meaning to my life. The habit of daily journaling, daily stretching, my exercise habits are contributing in a big way to my mental and physical health.

 

There is always another habit to work on, incorporating or improving. Once started this process is full of potential. The only limitation is time. Habits can become so time consuming that they crowd out other activities. This is where opportunity costs mush be considered. Never simple.

 

Constant review and revision is what make habit change fun, worthwhile and sustainable. Not being wedded to a particular outcome. Going with the flow of life.  

The Year of Magical Thinking

Finished Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking and it was great. At times I felt a little too wishful thinking but for the most part it was honest and looked closely at the loss she felt on losing her husband of 40 years. I'm moved and was brought to tears several times.

Life changes fast.
Life changes in the instant.
You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.

I don't know what to say to convince you to read this book. Joan and John Dunne where married for 40 years and both worked at home together for all but 5 months of that time. They had a daughter, Quintana, who was in a New York ICU in a coma when her father dies. Complication ensue. Joan is both fragile and strong, stoic and searching.

She describes "vortexes" as she calls them. Something in the environment reminders her of a past event with John. In the year after his death she chronicles her quest for answers to questions she discovers. She attempts to reconstruct the events around 9pm December 30, 2003. 

The "vortexes" and the reconstruction of the events are so honest and relevant. Available in the library. Read this book. It will move and support your life. Relationships are important, special, give life meaning.

How important is 10 seconds?

Next box, some assembly required! Mahogany and Figured Maple.

Next box, some assembly required! Mahogany and Figured Maple.

This morning I started on a walk then stopped to check my phone which wasn't behaving well and when I restarted my walk I noticed that in the intersection ahead was Scott and Susan biking to Pullman. I was 10 seconds behind running into them this morning. Who knows where our interaction would have lead. I've been thinking about how what I might have said or did would have effected their day but now I feel that I lost out because I will never now how meeting with them would have made my day special.

Not to quick to point to the phone technology as the 'reason' or 'cause' for the near miss this morning. Could just as easily point to anything in the past that I took 10 extra seconds to accomplish as the 'reason' or 'cause'.  Earlier today I spent several minutes eating and reading a health magazine, I did my stretching and lingered in one of the stretches. Earlier this week I lingered in the shower. Last year I spent a bit of time at the winery in Julietta. You get the idea, I could point to anything.  Life is full of mysteries. Time especially is a fundamental mystery. What fills my time is just what I'm exposed to. It has no 'causes', no 'reason' other than it is me and my time is which is now.