Precious Keystone Relationships

Be careful that special care is given to the people close to me and be sure they don’t lose the preciousness that attracted me to them in the first place.

 Image by  Will Simpson

Image by Will Simpson

A friend and I have been having an ongoing conversation about our relationships to our wives.

Seems a favorite topic among old men.

Our discussion has centered around our own behavior and our wondering why we say and do things that we wouldn’t say or do to complete strangers but say and act out in the keystone relationship that is the most precious to us. We discussed familiarity as being a possible cause, we have explored how our own behavior over time, slowly reinforces feelings of distrust, inadvertently and on all sides. 

What we have come to is that it our own personal responsibility to care, to care for the other, to be of service, to be accepting and reach out with love. This is what to love means.

The conversation continues.

Hope you have an awesome day!

This journal is meant as a reminder to my future self. A reminder to him to operate in the world with love and compassion and some tips put together in a moment of clarity to help him when he is less clear and caught up in stuff the he can’t control.  Continue the conversation anytime: will@kestrelcreek.com.

Puppy Training

 Zivon at 5 months old Image by  Will Simpson

Zivon at 5 months old Image by Will Simpson

I’m still a puppy and want to treat myself as such. I want to give myself calming opportunities that give me more impulse control. These are the things that I’m working on with Zivon and see that they apply to me and my life also. I want to give him the same understanding I want for myself when I mess up and don’t understand what I should be doing. 

My life would be transformed if I could life even half the time in the moment as Zivon does all the time. He is such a forgiving dog. When I want him to do something stale or no fun then he is quick to let me know with a strong tug on the leash or if not on the leash then he’ll bolt off in any direction that he thinks promises fun. He’s not being mean, not getting back at me for any reason, he just thinks something over there will be more fun than what I’m offering, When I make going in the house more fun or throwing the ball more fun than sniffing the pine trees, he’s all for it.

What lessons are here for me? I to am attracted to the ‘fun’ stuff. More ‘fun’ equals more attraction. I don’t have any alternate motives. I suspect others don’t either. We just see different activities as more or less fun. 

Because we know a little about our own mental lives, we see we just do what we consider good and fun. Yet we ascribe all kinds of motives to others and don’t consider that they too are just doing what they consider good and fun and it is us who are misinterpreting. 

This is what Zivon is teaching me.

Hope you have an awesome day!

This journal is meant as a reminder to my future self. A reminder to him how to operate in the world with love and compassion and some tips put together in a moment of clarity to help him when he is less clear and caught up in stuff the he can’t control.  Continue the conversation anytime: will@kestrelcreek.com.

Before I get frustrated, ask myself what my frustration will accomplish

 Image by  Will Simpson   A collection of yard debris Zivon tries to seek into the house.

Image by Will Simpson

A collection of yard debris Zivon tries to seek into the house.

I’ve been noticing a bunch of parallels between life with a puppy and mindfulness training. 

My puppy, Zivon, is giving me plenty of opportunities to practice being mindful, to watch how our minds play tricks on us and get us to do things that are not in our best interest. 

He is constantly comparing what he has with what he wants and if what he sees is more enticing than what is being offered, he quickly runs off. Lately he is choosing the apple tree rather than coming in the house where I can continue reading my book. Wonder of wonders. What interest does reading my book hold for him? He’s a puppy and sees the world from his perspective. I have to somehow be more enticing to him than the apple tree. 

What does my frustration with him accomplish in the moment of his choosing the apple tree. Nothing, well not quite. You see he is quicker than me and he gets what he wants, the half rotten apples, I in turn get raised blood pressure, a cortisol spike, a hoarse voice from yelling, and I potentially hurt myself stumbling after him. All this and there becomes a small momentary divide between us.  

This is not a desired outcome yet I can easily fall into it when my mindfulness is sleeping. 

Today I resolve to be more mindful of the puppy and his desire for the apple tree.

Hope you have an awesome day!


This journal is meant as a reminder to my future self. A reminder to him how to operate in the world with love and compassion and some tips put together in a moment of clarity to help him when he is less clear and caught up in stuff the he can’t control.  Continue the conversation anytime: will@kestrelcreek.com.



The difference 

between who I am now and who I was ten years ago is largely due to how I've spent my time along the way. Where I’ll be will largely be the result of how I spend my time in the future. To that end, developing positive habits is essential. What I do today will either add to my character or detract. 

I have lived a blessed life. I am one of the winners in the uterine lottery. Born into a lucky situation. 

It is important to remember to keep focused, and serve.

 Image by  Will Simpson

Image by Will Simpson

Hope you have an awesome day!

This journal is meant as a reminder to my future self. A reminder to him how to operate in the world with love and compassion and some tips put together in a moment of clarity to help him when he is less clear and caught up in stuff the he can’t control.  Continue the conversation anytime: will@kestrelcreek.com.

9 ways to prevent life suck

 

Because this is the life I’ve been given and I want to make sure it doesn’t suck.

Ways to unsuck.

  1. Become a beginner again.

  2. Focus on noticing yourself and others.

  3. Move in nature.

  4. Give freely.

  5. Don’t respond to the past.

  6. Set ambitious goals.

  7. Meditate and recharge.

  8. Ignore detractors.

  9. Serve others.

Credits — A Pragmatic Approach

I hope you have an awesome day!

 Image by  Will Simpson

Image by Will Simpson

This journal is meant as a reminder to my future self. A reminder to him how to operate in the world with love and compassion and some tips put together in a moment of clarity to help him when he is less clear and caught up in stuff the he can’t control.  Continue the conversation anytime: will@kestrelcreek.com.